When is Enough Enough?
December 20th, 2006Since I set up this website and started writing articles I have become more aware of my surroundings and am starting to recognize personal development material appearing from everywhere. As a part of my job working at a large international sports club I get the opportunity to talk to and work with people from all over the world. Some of my personal training clients are from places I had previously never heard of and many of them love telling me stories about their travels and experiences in life. I really enjoy this aspect of my job and I love a good story. Earlier today one of my clients and I got onto the topic of making money and he told me the following story about when is enough enough?
Although some people are fortunate enough to have always had plenty of money, I think most could always do with at least a little bit more. Whether you are someone who has come from wealth or you have come from poverty, it’s important to know where you are going when it comes to the pursuit of money. Of course goals change along the way for all of us but losing sight of your priorities in life may have a detrimental effect on your level of happiness.
One of my clients Jim has been working for a global oil company for almost 10 years and was telling me how he plans to retire in just another 10 years, he is now 35 years old. I told him he would be still quite young to retire at 45 and his response was he wants to retire from working but not retire from living and went on to tell me why.
Jim is from a middle class Singaporean family. He has two sisters and a brother all older than him, his brother is 16 years his senior. Jim and his siblings all have successful careers, however his brother Peter is extremely wealthy. Jim told me as he was growing up he always looked up to Peter. After Peter graduated with a degree in engineering he worked for a construction company in the United States before returning to Singapore and opening up his own small construction company. It didn’t remain small for long as Peter is a very aggressive business man and within 5 years he employed hundreds of people and had more work than he could cope with. Over the following 3 years he had lost everything, including his marriage. In the same period their father died and Peter was looked on as the leader of the family, he was still only in his early 30’s.
After his company collapsed and he separated from his wife Peter was so broke he moved back into the family home, Jim was still in high school at this time and remembers Peter telling him how he tried to go too big too fast with his business and this is why he ended up losing the lot. Peter explained to Jim that the entire time he ran his construction business he was completely under stress. He worked 7 days a week and rarely took a break. He was always tired and he never wanted to feel like that again.
Before long Peter was back on his feet working for another engineering firm and saved up enough money to buy a good size block of land in a popular business area in Singapore. He went on to develop the land and made a healthy profit. Now back on top he quit his job and decided to develop more properties. He got married again and had 3 children with his second wife and continued to go from strength to strength financially. Within 10 years he had become forever a very wealthy man. He spread his personal wealth in residential properties and business developments around the world. In his 40’s he owned property in Canada, United States, China, Singapore, France and England. It was around this time he told Jim he was planning to retire as he was once again under an enormous amount of stress and his second wife couldn’t take it any longer. He set the date and told his entire family he would be winding down his own role in his property development company and would officially retire by his 45th birthday which was only about a year away.
Peter’s 45th birthday came and went and he had made no attempt to retire or even slow down, in fact he was working as much or more than ever. Within a year Peter’s second wife moved out with the kids and Jim told me his older brother was so caught up with his work that it was over 2 years since he bothered to see his wife or his kids. This caused an irreparable tear within his entire family, not just with his wife but with his mother and his sisters. Jim as loyal as ever stuck by his brother and tried to help patch things up but it has to this day only gotten worse. Although his mother will still talk to him on occasions, neither of his sisters or his ex-wife have spoken to him over the last few years and still he rarely ever goes to see his children.
I really didn’t know what to say to Jim after he told me this story and it’s certainly not my place to judge the actions of others so I told him it seems kind of sad what has happened to his brother and I asked him why he continues to work when he no longer needs the money? Jim’s immediate response was that his brother is a great man but he is never satisfied, he always wants more and when he gets it he only wants more again. The last thing he wanted was to lose his wife and children and he was adamant that was not going to happen a second time when he made the decision to retire at 45. He was not only doing it for his family, he wanted out as the stress was starting to take it’s toll on his health. However, when the time came he couldn’t do it. He told me enough was never enough for Peter and today although very wealthy he is desperately unhappy.
Jim told me he has been very successful himself within the oil industry and although he has worked in some undesirable locations around the world he is very well compensated and generally likes his job. He made it quite clear that through his brother’s example he does know when enough is enough and this is why he has chosen to retire at 45. He said he and his wife plan to have one more child and he will be financially comfortable enough to retire in another 10 years and will do just that. Although he plans to stay on top of his investments after he retires he will no longer work and it is this long term plan he focuses on that keeps him working hard each day.
After I had time to digest this story Jim told me about himself and his brother I figured there are probably a lot of other factors to consider but on the surface at least it seems these are examples of one person staying in touch with his priorities and another being caught up in a cycle of wanting more and more but never finding satisfaction. Of course there is no right or wrong answer here and each person will view this from a different perspective but what I learnt from it was to keep an eye on my priorities and my happiness. I can only speak for myself but to me there is nothing worth sacrificing my happiness for.
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