The Road to Happiness
February 25th, 2008Although I cannot speak for everyone, I do believe the ultimate goal in life is to walk the road to happiness as often as humanly possible. Some people seem to spend most of their time on the path to happiness and many would appear to be walking a lonely path or the road that leads to unhappiness. During certain times in my earlier life I have trodden an unhappy path and at times I wondered if I would ever find the road to happiness. The good news for me is I have not only found the road to happiness, I walk along its yellow brick road on a daily basis. Anyone can do it.
Growing up I was a fairly happy kid in what I would call a normal and happy home life. Like most kids, I didn’t really like school all that much but I didn’t hate school either. I had plenty of friends and I participated in numerous sporting activities. When I left school I continued to be heavily involved in sports and training but I did start to associate with groups of the wrong people and this lead me, at times, onto a wayward path. Yes, you guessed it, this was a path to unhappiness that I struggled with, on and off, for years.
People fall into a type of unhappiness trap for numerous reasons. It might be due to getting involved with the wrong type of friends, an incompatible partner, drugs, alcohol and violence or maybe due to following a long term dream that, in reality, turned out to be not as wonderful as you previously imagined. The wrong job or career path can lead to untold anguish and unhappiness.
The bad news is that the longer you remain unhappy, the more difficult it may be to get onto the road to happiness. The good news is that you do have the power to make yourself happy but it will take some sacrifice.
In attempting to walk the road to happiness, you need to pinpoint what it is that makes you unhappy and dispel it from your life. In a nutshell, it is that simple. Get rid of what makes you unhappy and you will be happy. In reality however, you may be thinking it is anything but simple and I am hearing you loud and clear. When I was perpetually unhappy, I seemed to be walking under a dark cloud of unhappiness everywhere I went. I wondered what was the answer I needed to find to get me moving in the direction of happiness.
The answer we are looking for but have perhaps been unwilling to accept is sacrifice. You have to make certain sacrifices to walk the road to happiness on a consistent or permanent basis.
Now it is time to accept the terms and conditions of happiness or otherwise you may be in for a very long struggle with unhappiness.
Often sacrifice means giving up on the things you thought would make you happy but ultimately caused you nothing but pain. If you are an addict of any kind you need to distance yourself from your addiction. If it is drugs or alcohol, you need to abstain permanently. You will never be able to take drugs or alcohol ever again in your life and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be moving towards the path to happiness. Once an addict you can never ever socially take drugs or alcohol even in the most moderate of proportions. If you believe you can, you are in a state of denial and you will forever remain unhappy.
If you only ever feel happy while intoxicated by drugs or alcohol, you are living in a dream, soon that dream will turn into a nightmare and in a worst case scenario, that nightmare could lead to your eventual demise. It is at this point I would say to you, ask your intuition if I am right or wrong in this instance? You know what you have to do. Also know this, there have been many others before you who have been at the low point you are now at and have eventually moved onto the road to happiness. You can do it. You just have to say no more and mean it. It is only hard if you think it is. Once you get into the habit of saying no, it will get easier, it always does. Do you have the strength to say no? Do you really want to be happy?
Are you associating with the wrong people? Do you feel that the people you are around are not bringing out the best in you? Do you feel unhappy when you are with certain people? Only you know the answer to these questions and only you can choose your friends.
If your so called friends seem to be leading you down the path to unhappiness, you have to dump those people from your life. Yes this may sound harsh but what other choice do you have? It is unlikely these people will change but if you want to change your current circumstances to happier ones, you need to change and that means moving away from certain people in your life.
Simply existing or continuing in an unhappy and unrewarding relationship can be one of the most miserable experiences anybody can face. Breaking up might initially seem like a very lonely option but when you are courageous enough to take the big step and spilt up, you will eventually realize a world full of potential options open up for you that would never become apparent while you continued in a lifeless relationship with an incompatible partner. I have written about this in overcoming a broken heart.
The same thing goes for remaining in a job that does not make you feel like you are making forward progress. If the job does not fit with the type of person you are or allow you to achieve you goals, it is time to find a new job. Changing jobs often leads to a feeling of empowerment more often than not.
Lastly and most importantly, happiness breeds happiness. It is the same with unhappiness, the more time you spend feeling unhappy, the more often you will feel that way. Your feelings are the most powerful weapon you have at your disposal during the course of your entire life. Use your feelings to your advantage. Spend more time doing the things that make you feel good and less time doing whatever makes you feel miserable or depressed. Have the courage to face your demons head on and know that every decision you make in life is your choice to make.
In numerous surveys taken all over the world for generations, the most common response from an elderly person when asked, what would you change about your life if you had your time over again was, take more risks. The second most common response was to spend more time with family. The moral to the story is, do not get bogged down with the burden of unhappiness. There is an ocean of opportunity out there and many roads that lead to happiness. It is only ever your choice to walk your own road to happiness and you never know who you will meet or what great opportunities you will encounter along the way.
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