Step Away From Your Problems to Gain Perspective
March 6th, 2007When you are caught up in the middle of a stressful situation or what seems to be a big problem in your life it is difficult to see what your best course of action is. Often the reason you cannot seem to find a suitable solution to your problem is because you are so caught up in the emotion of your situation that the real problem may be hidden from your view. However, by stepping back from your problem and trying to look at it through a different set of eyes you may find that you are able to look at your problem from a new perspective and therefore gain a clear view.
It is often difficult to step back from your problems when it feels like you are drowning and do not know which way to turn but when you look at someone elses problems you can see it for what it is and emotion does not get in the way to cloud your judgment. Most people find it easy to give advice and on many occasions someone elses problems may not look like such a big deal when looked at through a fresh set of eyes and without any emotional attachment.
A friend of mine is going through a bit of a rough patch right now and is not sure of his best plan of attack. He has discussed with me the difficulties he sees in his life right at the moment and to me the answer is clearly obvious. My friend is a very intelligent person and has been through quite a lot of hardship in his life and has always come out on top. He does not jump to conclusions and always makes important life decisions with a clear head. I have told him what I would do if I was in his situation and he agrees with me 100%. On top of this his wife also completely agrees on the best route for him to take and she cannot understand why he is making a big deal out of something where the solution to the problem is so obvious. However, I do understand where my friend is coming from as I have been in this exact same situation myself. I have known what the best solution for me to take is but somewhere along the line fear has jumped on board and caused the whole process to come to a grinding halt.
It is fear that is clouding my friends mind and fear is the ultimate mind killer. Fear can bring the most physically and mentally strong man to his knees in the blink on an eye if he lets it get into his head. Like the old saying goes, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. This is so true as fear does not actually exist, it is just and illusion of your mind, nothing else. This is why it is imperative to step back from you problems and take a look at the big picture from a new perspective, a fearless or fear free perspective. When you step away from the emotion and fear that is riddled through your big problem it becomes easier to deal with and you can actually see the fear as part of the equation within your problematic situation.
My friend and I have just done this together and although I could sense he found the whole situation quite stressful, after looking at his situation from the outside looking in we could actually pinpoint what it was he was fearful of and when he realized his fear of taking the new steps towards his new venture were completely unfounded he realized with certainty he was doing the right thing. Although it is difficult to put into words, as he realized he really had nothing to worry about and he had been all uptight for no reason I could sense the weight off his shoulders lift. It was not even my problem, it was his, but I could feel his burden lift as we sat talking. I must say it was a really uplifting feeling for me and as you could imagine he felt like all of a sudden he had his life back where he wanted it. He thanked me for helping him see the light and I thanked him for letting me be a tiny part of his life unfolding in a magic kind of way.
I was inspired to write this article after talking with my friend about what seemed like a pretty serious problem to him when he first told me about it but we both learned a lot when he laid all his cards on the table so there was nothing hiding. In plain view we were able to assess his entire situation and see where the fear was residing and take a simple course of action to overcome that illusion of fear and now he can move forward fearlessly and confidently. He could never have done this while he was caught up in the emotion of his problem. This is something you could do alone with your own problems to get to the real root of the problem or do it together with your partner or a trusted friend. I think both of you will learn something from this exercise even if only one of you has a problem. I always find it rewarding to help and be helped.
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March 19th, 2007 at 8:13 am
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