Some Parents Might Disagree With This
February 6th, 2007When starting out your life as a young adult or when you get to that stage where you have to make a decision on what you want to do with your life you have many options but ultimately only one choice. What your parents think will obviously have an impact on your plans and what they think definitely needs careful consideration since in most cases they want what’s best for you. Where this can become a problem for many or perhaps I should say most kids is when what their parents want and what they want is poles apart. The decision you make at this most critical junction in your young life will most probably affect every aspect of your developing personality and your future.
Over my life I have heard so many times from numerous people “I wish my parents supported my goals” or “I followed my parent’s advice and didn’t follow my dreams and look at the mess I’m in.” This is often the case even with successful people, they sometimes complain about their parents pushing them too hard or not pushing them hard enough or not agreeing with their decisions which ultimately made things harder than they had to be and so on and so on. We’ve all heard this before, it’s nothing new, and we’ve either been directly affected by experiences like this or have a friend who has. So if you are a kid or young adult in this predicament what do you do? Do you listen to your parents or not? My answer to these questions is relatively straight forward but as a kid this is a big issue since you are neither wise to the world nor experienced in making important decisions. So what I would suggest is to listen and absorb what your parents have to say as they most likely do have your best interests as their highest priority and then carefully analyze your own life goals. Let me explain in more detail.
You need to remember that your parents are from a different generation to you, they may have ideals that are far removed from your own and they are at the end of the day, their own person just as you are your own person. You are an individual person and need to make important decisions about your own life that sit comfortably with the ideals or values you deem important. Let’s say your dad is a butcher and has a very successful butchery business and he’s always expected you to some day take over his lucrative and long running business when you’re old enough. However, for your own reasons you are a vegetarian and there’s no way you want to be in the business of selling meat. So what do you do? This one is a no brainer. You would have to explain your position and tell your father the truth and it is then up to him to deal with the situation. If your father couldn’t accept this you may be in a bit of a predicament and this will be a life lesson you will have to deal with in your own way but if you give in to his demands you will only make things worse for yourself in the long run and will ultimately resent him for it. If you took a stance from the beginning, no matter how much it may hurt you both, it is your only real option and he will most likely eventually come around. If he doesn’t, it’s not my place to judge him for his decisions but if he can’t accept you for who you are that’s sadly his misfortune. Carrying around the heavy burden of resentment by following someone else’s plan for your life instead of your own is a weight on your shoulders you can do without.
A while back I was doing some personal training for a man whose company had paid me to help get him into shape. From day one he told me he really didn’t want to be here and he doesn’t like working out, he was only here because he failed a company health check and they insisted he do 10 sessions with a personal trainer to improve his health. We had 10 one hour sessions to do over a five week period and he knew he had to come so he did, to his credit he did make some sort of effort to at least show up and complete each session. From the very first session we got chatting in between sets and he started to tell me a little bit about his life. He told me about his 16 year old son who wanted to be a musician, he said he was a very gifted guitar player and singer who wrote and sung his own songs. I could sense his son meant the world to him and he went on to tell me how his son was such a good guitar player at only 16 years of age that he sometimes stepped in for established rock bands and played guitar when they needed someone. I was very impressed with what he told me about his son and told him so. I also made a comment on what a bright future as a musician his son must have and how he must be so proud. As you are reading this, I bet you’ve guessed where I’m going with this and yes, you’re right.
His response to my positive comment about his son’s bright musical future was “are you kidding, I wish he never picked up a guitar in the first place, now he wants to become a professional musician.” To which I responded “well what’s wrong with that, at least he knows what he wants and if he’s that good at 16 imagine how much better he will be if he sticks with it”. He then looked me in the face and asked me what are the chances of him ever becoming a musician and making enough money to support himself and have a good life? This guy didn’t know me very well, actually he didn’t know me at all. He didn’t know about my interest in personal development or my belief in the vast power of the subconscious mind and he was the type of guy who didn’t want to know about these things but I couldn’t help myself, I had to say something but I don’t see it’s my place to judge him as he has his own reasons for thinking the way he does. I told him if it was my son I’d encourage him to do what he loves because the encouragement he gets from his parents might just be powerful enough for him to overcome the idea that nobody can make it as a musician. Sure it might be difficult to make it as a movie star or rock star but I can tell you for certain that the ones who do make it are not any more special than the ones who don’t, the only difference comes down to their subconscious belief. If you believe you can do anything you can and with the support of your parents it might make it just that little bit easier.
When I hear stories like the one I just mentioned it saddens me but at the same time I place absolutely no blame at all with the parents, they simply don’t know any better. It’s only from their conditioning, their life experiences and from what their parents have perhaps told them that they have come to their own conclusions about what is right and what is wrong for their own siblings. If movie and rock stars were common and office workers were rare and glorified by the media, no doubt some parents would be saying to their kids “why don’t you become a rock star, what are the chances of you ever becoming an office worker?”
So if you are at that age where you need to make a decision about what direction your future will take, listen to your parents and respect what they have to say, they only want what’s best for you. However, in the end it’s your life, not theirs so the ultimate decision rests on your shoulders and if you do decide to follow your own star, I hope for your sake you really give it all you’ve got because if you do your dreams will come true and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you made your own decision and made it happen. In the long run I’m sure your parents will be happy and proud that you had the courage to follow your dreams no matter where your life takes you. Sometimes dreams can change along the way and you might even find yourself in an even better place than you originally hoped for.
If you find this site helpful, please leave a donation for John
Other Related Posts:-
July 20th, 2007 at 5:20 am
[…] Hill presents Some Parents Might Disagree With This posted at Universe Of […]