Pushing Personal Development
February 28th, 2007I am a big fan of personal development. Anybody who has read some of my previous posts can see that but what I wanted to talk about today is pushing personal development onto other people. When I say pushing, I mean trying to lead people onto the personal development path without them asking for it. Although some people like to talk about their problems and often when you are listening to these problems you can see an obvious solution if you are an advocate of personal development techniques but most people are just not ready for the truth. Often people are simply looking for your support, not necessarily a solution. Although they might like a solution, they really don’t understand how there could be a solution so when you tell them there may be an easy way around the problem you may just end up frustrating them and pushing them away.
Although I’m interested in personal development and see myself as a spiritual person, if you came over to me and started preaching some type of religious sermon at me, I’d probably walk away. I believe being a spiritual person means more about taking a journey inside yourself to find the answers that you are looking for which will ultimately lead you to that happy place you want to be. If I had a mantra by which I lived it would be that you get what you give whether it be good or bad. What you give is going to be what you will ultimately get back and I believe this wholeheartedly, for me this concept is as true as gravity is on earth. That’s my viewpoint on life but I certainly wouldn’t go and tell anybody they should follow my way. Unless of course I knew the other person felt the same way, then I wouldn’t be pushing anything, it would then be just an easy flowing conversation between two like minded people.
I first stepped onto the personal development quite a few years back when my life just wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. I got to a point where I knew there must be more to life than waking up and going to work most days and taking the occasional day off. I had a mate who was already on the path but I wasn’t aware of it as he had never mentioned anything before about personal development or how we have the power to change our lives. Right when I needed some direction and maybe a little advice, my mate told me at the end of a conversation I had with him how I needed a new direction or some type of new plan, he offered me a book that he said I may be interested in. Well that was an understatement, that book he gave me was about the power within our own subconscious mind and it was like the beginning of my new life and what has become an exciting journey.
After reading this book I was finally able to make some sense out of my life and the confusing world we live in. This led me to another book and so on. At first I was so happy about the idea that I had the power to change my life that I wanted to tell people but whenever I brought up the topic with most people they looked at me like I was some sort of preacher and they were simply not interested or looked as though they didn’t care. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that this was something that you only find when you are ready, hence the saying “when the student is ready the teacher will come”.
It feels kind of exhilarating when you first step onto the path although eventually things get back to normal but never in quite the same way. The good thing is though, once you realize there is more than just you in a material world and your life is like a kind of never ending journey filled with lessons, you never again feel as helpless as you did before you found the personal development or spiritual path. So what I’m saying is, enjoy your own journey and let others find their own way in their own time. It’s easier on you and better for them than pushing your ways on someone who is on their own unique journey of self discovery.
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February 28th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
John,
This is a tough one because the average believer in personal development wants EVERYONE to see and take action on opportunities to improve their life.
It’s good to be supportive, but it is also hard to hear people complain without throwing out solutions pulled directly from your personal development bag of tricks.
I generally practice equanimity in those situations. I listen with a caring ear, but keep my own “emotional shields” up so I won’t be affected by negativity.
I guess the answer to whether or not to pull out the p/d solutions would be to simply ask if they wanted your advice or not.
March 5th, 2007 at 2:30 am
John,
First of all, I have been reading your blog quite sometime now and found many of your posts intriguing and meaningful. So thanks!
As someone who has just recently reached a more “aware” state, I was for awhile very eager to tell and assimilate others. And then I realized at some point of what you said, “when the student is ready the teacher will come” is indeed very true.
I think this goes hand in hand with the way of zen that one cannot asked to be shown the way but have to experience it himself. So in the end to help others in situations, we need be understanding 1st, that’ll ease a bit of turmoil hopefully. Only after that, we offer our honest perspective and p/d advice. AND LASTLY, hope that they’ll come to be aware also.
Thanks,
- Kin