Are You Where You Want To Be ?
October 15th, 2006Many of us go through our lives with a rough plan or goal of where we want to be and then one day we actually take the time to look at the big picture and see something seems to have gone wrong along the way. We may not be unhappy about how things are but in the back of our mind we know we are not content. Our life has somewhere caused us to stray off course or we realize we never really had a definite plan towards life to begin with. At this point we face some pretty big issues and the possibility of change. But then again, do we want to change, that sounds pretty scary, what if by changing we lose what we have already got.
A huge chunk of the population, in fact most people have been faced with this dilemma, I know I certainly have, on more than one occasion and it is scary because you don’t always know what is around the corner. So if you’re in this situation you have to analyze where you are at and make a decision on what the price of change is worth to you. Every person has there own set of unique circumstances and considerations to make so there is no standard plan of attack but I will address a numbers of actions worth considering.
Firstly I think it is important to assess your overall feelings and emotions regarding where your life is currently at. This is probably the most important step as your overall level of happiness or lack of plays a role in every area of your life. If you are waking up each day and dreading another day at work but consider you are very happy with your income you would need to weigh up whether your unhappiness in your job is really worth the good money you make. Constant or long term feelings of unhappiness eventually lead to stress and stress can lead to serious illness, in both your mental and physical bodies. If your health declines, often every area of your life is affected and really, is any amount of money worth feeling chronically unhappy or depressed?
If the opposite is your case and you love your job but the money is poor and you have no ability to save or have little money in reserve if you needed it, you have to look at where you are headed. In this case at least you are happy and that’s a great place to be but if you are worried about the lack of money you will certainly be facing some sort of change. Perhaps you look at an avenue to restructure how you receive your income doing what it is you like, but in any case you will need to take action.
If you are in a relationship that may be good but not as good as you’d like this is another challenging situation. Do you leave and face the possibility of being alone which may seem like a less than ideal solution or on the other hand open yourself to the possibility of finding someone that really makes you happy. Or do you stay in your current relationship that isn’t great but at least it’s safe. I was in this situation with a girl I had been seeing for a few years and things were generally quite good but deep down I wasn’t happy so after careful consideration we broke up and although it was painful at the time, it was most definitely the best thing I could have done and when faced with this situation again the solution was clear. I don’t think it is healthy for either side to stay in a relationship if one or both parties are not completely happy with the long term prospect of staying together but as I mentioned before, every situation carries its own unique set of issues, especially if you have kids. However, once again, the situation needs to be addressed or things may deteriorate further.
When you have gotten to the point where you feel a change is needed for you to reach your goals or find a deeper more fulfilling sense of happiness it may require you to take a step backwards instead of forwards. This takes real courage but the sense of empowerment you achieve from this will certainly give you the confidence to make definite forward progress in the pursuit of your new goal. For example, if you are not happy with your current career but know of something you would like to do that you enjoy doing, you may take a significant pay cut to start your move in a new direction or you may need to become re-educated in a new skill and this again takes courage as you ponder whether it’s the right thing to do. However, if intuitively you feel it is the right thing for you and you feel good about the decision from within, I’d say you are taking a leap in the right direction. I would be wary if any new big change I was going to make did not feel right from my gut instincts.
Facing your fears is the only way you will overcome them. If you avoid dealing with your fears head on they will only gain more power over you and over time you may find yourself in the horrible position of your fears becoming bigger or more overwhelming than you can deal with. When you can release the past and understand it has no power over you, only the power you give it by thinking about it, you will gain empowerment and this allows you to create your own positive future. Likewise, you also need not be scared of the future as it hasn’t happened yet. The only point of power you have over the direction of your life is right now, in the present moment. With a solid intention and a belief in yourself you can have whatever it is you want to achieve by taking the action steps today, or right now. Don’t waste time thinking about what might happen in the future due to your previous mistakes in the past. Understand that you are wiser from your experiences and do what you know you have to do to get what it is that you really want. As you see things beginning to change for the better, this will undoubtedly give you the confidence to keep moving in the right direction till you reach your goal and then move towards the completion of your next goal or plan.
It is up to you to take action and move forward. It takes courage and perseverance to make a change and move in a new direction in life but the alternative of staying stagnant is even more riskier as you will see the years flying by and your situation will not stay the same as you might think it would if you don’t make a change, it will only get worse as by not facing your fears when you know it is time to, your fears will grow and consume you, paralyzing your mind and eventually your body. This is because you cannot separate the mind and body, they are intrinsically linked. Chasing security is perhaps one of the most mentally dangerous things to do as you know yourself once you reach a certain goal, no matter how long it has taken you to achieve, it is in our nature to simply want more and more and there is nothing wrong with that. It is our achievements and the hardships we endure and conquer along the way to success that continue to give us the drive to keep moving forward.
You may have heard the saying “a change is as good as a holiday”, this is a positive and constructive way to face change. If you are fearful of change you only make things unnecessarily harder on yourself. Humans as well as everything in the universe have been evolving and changing throughout history, it is the law of nature just as the seasons and the weather is forever changing. It is simply not natural to stand still or resist the inevitable. Instead, embrace change and move forward towards true happiness and when you do face your fears you will realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is not real, it is just an idea in your head and when you do walk your true path it will be the path of least resistance and you will be amazed at the wonderful opportunities life has just waiting for you.
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